Midlife regrets? Do I have any?
I often think about this – as looking back over the years I´ve been on this planet, I could have hundreds of regrets. You could say my life got off to a pretty disfunctional start – being that I was born with the umbilical cord wrapped around my neck, not once, but twice!
Bit of a funny story about how my parents got married …They have actually known each other since my mother was 8 years old, due to their parents being friends. My mother married my father in her lunch hour when she was 21 yrs old, told her father 3 days later who was furious, had 4 children in 6 years and then got divorced. After this due to various remarriages on both sides, I had 4 different step- mothers and 3-step fathers and numerous half sisters/brothers.
I´ve been asked whether I have ‘regrets’ about the journey my life has taken me on and in all honesty, in the past I have had them but now? The answer is a resounding ‘NO’!
I think this era of ‘midlife’ is an interesting time to look back on our lives and see what changes we would have made, if any.
The reason my answer is a ‘no’ is because I have had so many experiences thanks to my journey. Some amazing and some blooming tough and challenging but the point here, is life is not for regrets, life is:
♥ For learning
♥ For achieving
♥ For evolving
♥ For making the most of whatever situation is at hand.
♥ For knowing how to do things differently.
♥ For taking the challenges and choosing to see the gifts.
♥ For connecting to the deepest part of ourselves and have a ‘knowing’ about what feels right to do.
♥ For sharing your gifts with those around you who need support.
So for me, midlife is a time when I am:
♦ Most comfortable with who I am.
♦ Most comfortable in trusting in me.
♦ Most comfortable in knowing I am on the right path.
♦ Most comfortable in believing in me.
If you hold onto regrets, the only person it hurts is you.
Regrets create anger, resentment, hurt, pain, bitterness and result in wasting far too much time in the energy of ‘what was’, instead of “what IS”.
Regrets stop you living your life.
Letting them go allows you to forgive, connect to your self-love, be grateful for what you do have, to move on, to be in the present moment, to look for what else is possible. To live for now.
Midlife gives us a different perspective on life that we had 20+ or so years ago. Midlife allows us to be more connected to our wisdom, to our truth. To what is real, not to worry about what others may think,or say. Who really cares?
What this time of my life has given me is wisdom, a deep sense of who I am, a deep sense of what I want to give back to the world and a continual fascination as to what is next?
If you feel you want something different in your life now, then go ahead and reinvent what isn’t working into something better and live your life as the Magnificent, magical midlifer that you are!
What’s your take on midlife? Are you full of regrets or grateful for who you have become thanks to your life’s journey up to this stage ?
Fiona Clark – Midlife Empowerment Coach