Are you living your midlife in a state of constant gnawing anxiety that’s stopping you from functioning properly and affecting your health and relationships? Well, what if I were to tell you that feeling fearful is a good thing? And quite normal too. And no, you’re not a coward for admitting that you are – the first step to overcoming your fearful state is to face the why’s…
MIDLIFE CHANGES CAN TRIGGER FEAR
The thing with midlife, is that all these major “out of our comfort zone changes”, seem to happen all at once – children flying the nest, separations/divorces, changes or loss of job, having to take on the responsibility of looking after an elderly parent…
And change, any change can bring about a sense of fear.
Fear of the unknown is the BIGGIE.
At this intersection of our lives there can be a lot of unknowns, particularly for those who have flung themselves completely into the role of super mum/wife/employee for two decades – to the extent that they have ignored and perhaps extinguished themselves.
And so the questions start – that endless monkey mind of questions that are shouting out at from your subconscious to be heard
“What’s next?” “Is this it?”“Who am I?”
According to an interesting article I read in Psychology Today :“Actions motivated by fear fall into four types—freeze, fight, flight, or fright… When the fear is overwhelming, you experience fright: You neither fight nor flee; in fact, you do nothing—well, you obsess… ruminate, complain, but you take no action. Being continuously in fright mode can lead to hopelessness and depression.”
It’s perfectly natural to have a sense of fear at all the midlife changes that you might be experiencing right now – they are simply life’s natural rites of passage. If you are living your life in fright-mode though, it’s a hell of a lot tougher, I know (read my story). It’s amazing how hard it is to acknowledge that feeling of wearing shoes that no longer fit, that it’s time to throw them away. You can keep on wearing them but they will cause you discomfort and pain until you have the courage to just throw them out.
Nelson Mandela once said “I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it.”
As I myself learnt, once you take steps to face and overcome your fear – you´ll be able to see it for what it is – FAKE news! And once you understand this, you will be free to blossom and have the courage to be YOURSELF.
So, go on! Make YOUR midlife magnificent! It´s time to kick off those toe-pinching, corn-inducing shoes and dance with life in all your unrestrained, barefoot, midlife glory!
Fiona Clark – Midlife Empowerment Coach
If you’re feeling stuck and fearful and need someone to talk to please contact me for a free 30 minute consultation. I’d love to help you reconnect to your magnificence!